Local Heroes, Professional Dumbasses

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Story from Jeff Shantz

Here’s a goody that should get a smirk. 

Your dad and I were out on Beer tour on a Friday or Saturday night(can’t remember, it was 40 years ago) and we drove by Amos and Lovida’s house which was just up the road from your mom and dads place.   It was around 1 or 2 am.  We saw the house was on fire so we drove downtown St. Jacobs to the fire department which was on Main Street St Jacob’s at the time.  

We took the little hammer on the string in front the glass panel and broke the glass and pushed the button to initiate the siren which would get the volunteer fire fire fighters to come to the fire station.   I believe we then went to a phone booth and called in that there was a fire at house on three bridges road because we were drunk and didn’t want to talk to anyone in case they would call the police on us.  

In our wisdom we then went and parked at St. Jacob’s public school on the parking lot because we could see the fire from there and we sat in our car and had a few more pops gloating in our heroism that we got the fire department to go put it out. 

I don’t remember anymore about that one but just remembered another one. 

Your dad and I were out drinking on a Saturday night(yes again).  We were in Elmira at the old Motor Inn hotel and go figure we got drunk again.  When we headed home around 12:30 it was raining and we had my 240z two seater sports car.   As we were coming into St Jacob’s they had the new cut off by Peter Horsts place.   We were clipping along pretty good and your dad all of sudden mentioned that we were going to miss the turn off.   I slammed on the the brakes and because the roads were wet we hydroplanned past the turn off and straight down to the bottom of the ditch.   We tryed to push the car out but it was to slippery on the bank and car just spun.  

Soooooo, in our wisdom we walked down to the DH Hotel and rounded up the regulars like Doug Martin, Kieth Metzger and about three others and they drove us up the hill to my car and they helped push me out.  

Other than a bunch of mud stuck under my car we no doubt skirted a bullet.   It was amazing that no cops saw us and we just chalked it up to another dumb ass situation but I am sure we still had a few more pops to go over what a brilliant idea it was to go to the DH and get help!   We were not that smart back then!